Surprise! I'm Alive and Naked
by NeverGiveUp22
Summary: After 6x05, Damon is back from the prison world and goes to Elena's dorm room, intending to surprise her. But he doesn't know about her memory wipe. "I'm guessing she wasn't very thrilled since technically she's never seen you naked before," Alaric stated. Damon grinned. "Wellll, I wouldn't say never." "You're disgusting."


**This is my first time writing Delena. I don't like them very much anoymore, but I couldn't pass up on this. **

**Hope you guys like it. :)**

* * *

><p>Damon Salvatore was the sexiest and most romantic boyfriend on the planet.<p>

At least, that's what he was currently telling himself to calm his excitement.

After returning to the land of the living, Damon spent the rest of the night with Stefan, drinking, laughing, and reminiscing. As they talked and drank bourbon, Damon realized exactly how much he'd missed his little brother.

Towards the end of the night, when they were so drunk that they laid on the cold, stone floor, laughing at each other until they cried, Elena's name entered the conversation.

"So," Damon began dramatically, waving around his empty bottle of bourbon, "how's _Elena_? I mean, she must be just as sad and hopeless as you were before you saw my handsome face." He smiled goofily and motioned to himself.

"Actually," Stefan slurred, pointing at his brother and squinting, "she was _way_ worse than I was. She wanted me to never stop looking for you. She sent me all kinds of leads that she thought would help, but I stopped looking for you after a while."

"Hey!" Damon exclaimed.

"I couldn't do it, Damon," Stefan groaned, feeling his limbs tingle from the amount of alcohol he'd consumed. "Eventually, I just gave up hoping you'd come back because it was too painful."

"Aww, sounds like someone's got a soft spot for his big brother," Damon teased, his vision blurring as he tried to poke Stefan.

Stefan snorted and fought to keep his eyes open.

"Yeah, yeah, well _anyways_, she got really mad at me," Stefan continued. "I heard she was making a witch help her see you. Like seriously, she was having _hallucinations_ of you." Damon fought to stay awake, even though nothing Stefan said made any sense at the moment. "Oh, and we can't get into Mystic Falls right now because those lunatic _witch-hood-of-the-traveler's-pants_ people got rid of all the magic in our town," Stefan said, causing Damon to give him a confused look. Stefan ignored him and continued. "Caroline wants to fix it, but how am I supposed to help? I mean, I can't even get into my own bed! How am I supposed to help put magical things back in our town if I can't even get into my own bed?" Stefan paused, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion at his own words. "Ya' know what, I don't even know what I'm saying right now," he slurred, hiccupping at the end.

Damon gave him a wide, drowsy smile with his eyes closed.

"It's alright, brother," he told Stefan, blindly reaching out until he found his little brother's shoulder, then patted it. "I don't know what you're saying either."

Stefan let out a drunken laugh and fought to keep his own eyes open. He barely noticed when Damon laid down, giving up his fight against exhaustion.

"Ya' know what else your girlfriend - who actually used to be my girlfriend - did?" Stefan continued, waving his hand around. "She had your drinking buddy screw up her brain. Like, I don't even know how he did it, but now she doesn't remember that you two were – heyyyy, come on, brother!" Stefan stopped mid-sentence to poke Damon's chest.

Damon was passed out on the floor, snoring quite loudly, with drool oozing from the corner of his mouth.

Stefan huffed dramatically and let his head loll back against the wall.

"Well, alrighty then," Stefan muttered. He was quickly snoring as loud as Damon.

* * *

><p>Damon woke up with aching muscles and a splitting headache. He let out a groan and cracked an eye open, but quickly shut it as sunlight blinded him.<p>

"_Ugh_," he moaned, putting his hands against the stone floor beneath him and shoving himself up. After several attempts, he finally made it to his feet and managed to open his eyes.

Stefan was leaning against the wall across from him, passed out, and looking more peaceful then Damon had ever seen him before. Damon smiled, ignoring the dull ache of his slowly-fading headache, and watched his brother's chest rise and fall with each breath.

_I'm finally back_, he thought, failing to contain his wide smile.

His mind went back to Bonnie, though, and he nearly felt sick to his stomach. She had sacrificed herself for _him_, so that he could get back to Elena and be happy. And now, Bonnie was stuck with a sociopath.

Damon quickly pushed the thought away and assured himself that he would figure out how to get her back. Besides, Bonnie wouldn't have wanted him to waste his time worrying about her when he had a very lonely girlfriend to see.

* * *

><p>Elena sighed as she fought with the lock for her dorm room. Caroline had left a few days ago, and the old door knob had already started jamming up again.<p>

The lock finally clicked, and Elena opened the door about an inch. She picked up her huge stack of books, which she had just laid on the ground to fight with the door knob, and held them cautiously against her chest. On her way back from her classes, Elena had already dropped the book on the top of the stack half a dozen times. She stubbornly intended to make it into the room without doing it again.

_Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip!_ she thought, chewing her bottom lip as she watched her footing, carefully maneuvering her way into the room. Elena stared at the ground the whole time, resting her chin on the top of the stack to hold it tightly against herself. Once she successfully made it into the room, she faced the door and closed it gently with her foot. She rested her forehead against the door, letting out a breath of relief and smiling victoriously. Then she pushed away from the door, securely holding the books, and turned around. Elena gasped, mouth gaping and eyes widening, and her arms went limp. The books dropped to the floor with a loud series of thumps, but Elena didn't notice.

Damon was _here_. He was alive, _breathing_, and was giving Elena a look that could only be described as _wickedly naughty_. But that certainly wasn't the naughtiest factor of the situation.

He was lying on Elena's bed, arms folded behind his neck, wearing nothing but a mischievous smirk. His muscles were tauntingly on display, and Elena couldn't stop herself from gawking. She intended to only glance at his firm-looking biceps, but then her eyes shamelessly stared at his chest muscles, then his ripped six-pack, then the V of his hips, and then a certain body part she'd seen once before when he was standing in his living room covered in soapsuds; except this time, there was no soap, and he had actually tied a bright blue ribbon around his –

"Damon!" Elena shrieked. Her eyes flitted across his body again as she frantically tried to avert her gaze to anything more appropriate. "What the – How are you – "

"Alive?" he asked in a seductive voice, his face still lit up with a grin. "I think the better question to consider is if you want to open your present with your hands or your teeth."

Elena gaped at him, her eyes going against her brain and glancing down at the bow again.

"N – no! What?! How can you even say that?" she snapped.

Damon grinned. "Because I know you like blue ribbons. And you _especially_ like it when I give you presents."

Elena lips parted in horror.

"W – _what_?! You're a dick! Who else knows you're alive?!" she yelled, glancing at the ridiculous bow again and wincing. "And please, _please_, cover your… _present_!"

Damon's flirty expression fell and was replaced with sadness and confusion. "Are you seriously not the least bit excited that I'm alive?" he questioned. "It's been three months of you thinking I was dead and now you're screaming at me? Is this a joke?!"

Elena scoffed in disbelief and glared at him.

"Is _this_ a joke?!" she shot back. "Seriously, Damon? A _bow_?! Why would you even _think_ I would – "

Realization seemed to hit her then.

"Ohhhh," she sighed, closing her eyes. "Right. We used to date. Obviously, I must've been insane at the time." She muttered the last part mostly to herself as she stared at the floor, but Damon heard and his eyebrows scrunched together in hurt. He quickly leapt from the bed, putting on his pants and t-shirt in a blur.

"Elena, I am _alive_," he cried out, waving at himself for more emphasis. "Why are you mad? Why are you acting like you don't even care?!"

"Because I don't, ok!" Elena exclaimed, sighing in exasperation. The creases in Damon's forehead vanished as his face fell in devastation. "Whatever we had, I don't remember it. I made Alaric compel me to forget." Damon looked like he was about to scream, but Elena huffed and continued. "_Apparently_, dealing with your death was too much for me to bear, despite the fact that you killed my brother right in front of me and tried to ruin my life dozens of times!"

"_Elena_," Damon breathed, moving towards her with his hands stretched out.

"No!" she shrieked, causing Damon to freeze and slowly lower his hands, his fingers balling into fists at his sides. "Don't come near me. Just… go."

"Elena, _please_, just let me – "

"I said _go_!" she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and forcing her eyes to look anywhere but at Damon.

Damon's mouth opened, but then closed as he decided to do as she wished. He quickly slipped on his socks and boots, fighting the urge to yell. His jaw twitched as he reluctantly grabbed his jacket off the chair; the same chair Elena had shoved him into months ago and kissed him desperately, then nearly killed them both because of Silas's mind control. Damon would give anything to be in that moment again, to deal with that pain instead of what he felt now. His years spent as a lab rat hadn't even cut this deep into his soul.

Without another word, Damon trudged towards the door, gripping the handle and slowly pulling it open. Its hinges squeaked, filling the terrible silence. With one final glance back at the girl he desperately loved, who now refused to even acknowledge his departure, Damon stepped into the hallway and shut the door.

His heartbreak was quickly replaced with a twinge of anger.

During the hours of drinking and talking the previous night, Stefan had failed to mention the fact that Elena completely wiped Damon from her mind. And _why_ would Alaric ever agree to do such a thing?

Damon shoved his arms into his jacket sleeves and shrugged it over his shoulder as he sauntered down the hallway.

He needed to punch something. He needed to tear into someone's neck. But first, he _really_ needed a drink.

* * *

><p>It took less than a minute to find out where Alaric's office was.<p>

It took barely ten seconds to discover a hidden bottle of bourbon.

Damon lost count of the number of times he tipped the brim to his lips, but the bottle was half empty far too soon for his liking. His racing thoughts grew fuzzy and his aching chest became fantastically numb. _Some good stuff_, Damon thought approvingly as he took another sip. In fact, the bourbon was working so well that he barely noticed when the door opened and Alaric entered the room.

"Hey, buddy!" Damon greeted him with a lazy smile, raising the bottle towards him. "Youuu have some explaining to do."

Through his blurry vision, he managed to see Alaric smile widely.

"Yeah, ditto," Alaric answered. "Stefan told me you were back, but I don't think it actually hit me until just now. I missed you, buddy."

Damon watched curiously as Alaric dropped a book bag on the desk and moved towards him, arms stretched out.

"Woah, woah, hey now," Damon exclaimed, holding out his hands to block Alaric. He lifted his index finger from the half-empty bottle to point at Alaric. "No hugs for you until you explain to me why you _possibly_ thought that agreeing to erase my girlfriend's memories of me was a bright idea."

Alaric had the decency to look regretful.

"Damon – "

"_Explain_," Damon cut him off, glaring at him while taking another swig of bourbon.

Alaric sighed and ran a hand through his hair, resting his other hand on his hip.

"She couldn't deal with it, Damon," he finally said. "You and Bonnie dying at the same time was too much for her to take in. You were gone and that was all that mattered to her, all that she could think about. For three months she was taking herbs to hallucinate you because she missed you so much."

Damon shrugged, smirking up at Alaric. "What can I say? I'm hard not to love."

"Damon, you're missing the point," Alaric snapped. "She was going insane! She didn't want to live without you. She had the hope that Stefan would find you, but when he told her he'd given up, she couldn't take it anymore. You were her world, and without you, she felt like she didn't have anything. Nothing any of us said to her lessened her grief. _It was too much_." Alaric paused and slowly let out a breath, watching as Damon considered his words. "She asked me to take away her memories because she loved you too much, Damon," he continued, his voice softer. "It was _killing_ _her_. She knew that if she ever wanted her memories back, I could easily make her remember. But she thought there was no hope left. I couldn't say no."

Damon rolled his eyes. "Yeah, _obviously_, seeing as how repulsed she is by me. So much for my 'hey, I'm not dead' kiss!"

"You tried to kiss her?" Alaric raised an eyebrow.

Damon scrunched up his nose and winced. "Not exactly."

Alaric watched him for a moment with narrowed eyes. After a few moments of staring at Damon's sheepish expression, realization seemed to hit him. Alaric's eyes widened.

"Aw, no," Alaric groaned. "_Damon_."

"_Alaric_," Damon retorted, putting the bottle to his lips and taking several huge gulps.

"What did you do?" Alaric badgered.

Damon swallowed and rolled his eyes. "What do you think I did?!" he countered. "I did exactly what any loving boyfriend, who was surprising his girlfriend – who thought he was dead – would do the first time they laid eyes on each other again."

"You mean you did what _you_ think a loving boyfriend would do? Which I am assuming dealt with sex?"

Damon winced again.

Alaric groaned. "_Seriously_,Damon?"

"What!" he exclaimed defensively, throwing up his hands. "I thought she'd be thrilled!"

"And I'm guessing she wasn't thrilled since technically she's never seen you naked before," Alaric stated.

Damon grinned. "Wellll, I wouldn't say _never_."

Alaric raised his eyebrows incredulously, to which Damon only smirked in response.

"Wow," Alaric deadpanned. "Ya' know what, I'm siding with no-memory Elena. You're disgusting."

"Nooo, no, no," Damon countered. "You don't get to side with anyone yet. Isn't there something you'd like to say to me?"

Alaric swallowed and met Damon's glare with equal force.

"I'm not sorry, Damon. It was what she needed at the time."

"Well the times have changed," Damon shot back. "So I think now would be a wonderful time to make her remember me." He took another sip from the bottle.

"Sure," Alaric said with a shrug. "I'll make her remember when she asks me to."

Damon froze and slowly pulled the bottle from his lips.

"_What?_" he snapped.

Alaric crossed his arms over his chest and bit the inside of his cheek. "When Elena thinks she's ready to remember your relationship, I will gladly take away the compulsion. But until she asks me, I'm not doing it."

Damon slammed the bottle onto the desk, its contents nearly spilling onto the dark hardwood.

"_Alaric_," he warned.

"_Damon_," Alaric shot back, raising his eyebrows, daring Damon to argue with him.

Damon's nose wrinkled and his lip curled, but he reluctantly let out a groan of defeat.

"Fine," he growled. "We'll do it your way."

"Thank you."

Alaric watched as Damon stood, walked towards the door, and then spun around again.

"But I'm taking this as part of the apology you owe me," Damon said, picking up the bourbon and walking away again.

"I already told you I'm not sorry," Alaric replied in annoyance, watching Damon fling open the door and glance back.

"Oh, I know," Damon answered with a grin. "This is for trying to force a hug upon me. Hate to break it to you, but my heart belongs to another."

Alaric shook his head and chuckled. "I did miss you," he said again.

Damon sighed and gave him a genuine smile. "I missed you too, Ric."

* * *

><p>"Hey, you disappeared," Stefan said into the phone.<p>

"And you failed to mention a few minor details about my favorite people," Damon replied, voice lacing with sarcasm. "Like how Caroline has been skipping out on College. She sure loves to live on the edge, don't you think?"

Stefan sighed. "Damon – "

"And how Alaric is a teacher again, despite the fact that he's a bloodthirsty Original vampire," Damon continued. "And also how you don't know where my phone is, which of course forced me to compel one from a Whitmore student in order to call you. But don't worry, I'll give it back to her. She's already gettin' antsy from her break in tweeting about how hard her life is."

"Look, I tried – "

"Oh! There's one more thing, isn't there?" Damon cut him off. "_Hey Damon, glad you're alive_," he said in his best impression of Stefan. "_By the way, I should probably let you know that the love of your life had your best friend compel her to forget that she ever loved you!_" Stefan sighed and rubbed a hand across his face._ "Boy, am I glad to get that information off my chest!_"

"I _tried_ to tell you, Damon."

"Well you obviously didn't try hard enough!" Damon snapped.

"What do you want me to say? I was overjoyed that my brother was alive, and so drunk that I forgot where I even was!" Stefan defended himself. "Apparently my intoxicated self tries to forget about the drama I'm always dealing with."

"But Elena _hates me_," he groaned. "And after this morning, she hates me even more!"

There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

"_Damon_," Stefan began suspiciously, "What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did something bad?" Damon countered. "You sound just like Ric."

"Yes, because Alaric and I both know you well enough and are accustomed to the way you think," Stefan told him carefully. "So, what did you do?"

Damon growled and kicked a stone away, deciding that it'd be easier to just tell Stefan the entire story.

"I waited for her in her dorm – "

"Uh huh."

"And she came in – "

"_Okay_."

"And I had sort of a surprise for her – "

"_Here we go_."

"And she might have screamed a little bit – "

"Damon."

"Because I was lying on her bed – "

"_Damon_."

"And was kind of – "

"_Kind of_?"

"A little bit naked – "

"Damon!"

"And seeing as how she can't remember our relationship, she didn't think I was a very nice present."

"Present?"

"Well, I might have been wearing a bow…"

"You were wearing _a bow_?"

"Yeah, kind of…"

There was a long pause from Stefan.

"_Where_ were you wearing a bow?"

Damon winced. "_Wellll_ – "

"_Damon!_"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Damon insisted.

"Does it still seem like it was a good idea?" Stefan teased.

"Like I said, _at the time_."

Stefan let out a deep breath. "Sorry, brother. This one's all on you."

"Well it's kinda hard to tell someone you love them when they cringe at the sight of you!"

"I would've cringed, too," Stefan admitted cheekily. "Actually, I would've broken your neck."

"Yes, Stefan, I get the point. I'm an idiot."

Damon could practically hear Stefan grinning.

"Hey, you said it, not me," Stefan answered.

"You implied it."

"Whatever, Damon," Stefan said. "But you need to stop wasting your time arguing with me and think of a way to make it up to her. I can't make you apologize, and I can't make Elena sit down and listen to what you have to say. _But_, I can ask her to consider it."

Damon bit his lip and thought for a moment. "Ok, fine. You can try persuading her, I guess." Damon pulled the phone from his face to hang up, but hesitated and brought it back to his ear. "Stefan?"

"Yeah?"

Damon paused. "Thank you."

Damon couldn't tell if Stefan was confused or happy when he answered:

"You're welcome, Damon."

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Leave a review and hug Damon! <strong>

**I don't know if I will write another chapter to this. I don't have many ideas and I've been struggling to write, so we'll see what happens. **


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